I use to write about my dream, but now that I have a job and work at night. I don't night dream anymoreand more recently I haven't daydreamed either. This past week has been nothing but pain for me. A girl, she sat next to me in two classes. She was very funny but headstrong had a 9 month old baby, I didn't knowhe past and to me it didn't matter because I liked her as a person. Tuesday night after class was the last time anyone saw her, last time I saw her she was walking toward the elevator to meet her parents on the bottom floor. Knowing how dangerous thatis at nigt aloe I knew she could hand it but she couldn't. No one knows how long it had been but she was found at 10 pm dead in the mens restroom in that building. It's a shame because the mens restroom in that building is right next to the elevator. There's so much that could have been done to save her and prevet it from happening. It hurts me to realize that I may have been the last person to talk to her befoe it happend and it makes me sick to my stomach to understand that as I walked the other way more lit path by the library, I didn't hear her screams for help if there were any because I had my earphones in listening to my music. Even now that she is gone, I get nausea just thinking about it. On the days I go to sleep and even at work I dream that I'm in class and shes sitting next to me in class and we're doing work, learning from eah other. At work when I'm stocking the shelf, I see her standing there at the end of the aisle with her arms crossed but with a smile on her face like she wants to call me a "Dork" as always, And when I pass by that bathroom to get to my other calsses I hold my breath because all I smell there is the smell of a dead body so badly injured only identifiable by finger prints. I cannot look at the bathroom door at all for fear of vomitting and when I get to the end of the hallwa, I wont dare to look back because each step that I take down that hallway I'm giving it all that I can not to cry. each step I take i try not to make eye contact with anyone who may be standin waiting for classes to start because If i do i may see a familiar face and break down. At work I try my best to put on a smile and pretend like everything is ok. I try not to think about her but every person that brings up her story makes me mad, and I snap accidentally at them for no reason. I'mlike a whole different person that i was 2 weeks ago. Only a few know that I knew the girl and that she was my friend. Even today, Saturday, the sky is a different shade of cloudy
It feels like all of heaven is sad that she is gone.
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
There is still light
That shines on me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother mary come to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
There's gonna be an answer
Let it be
I miss you Diana
